Day 35 - Ambivalent End

August 28

So, that's it. I have successfully completed 35 rounds of radiation! While the chemo part of treatment did not go as planned, radiation blasted its way through me without missing a step. Even with Covid, we managed to not miss an appointment.

I am surprised that the radiation burn on the outside of my neck did not start happening until week 6. It certainly is here now and is making up for lost time. OUCH! The burns inside my mouth and throat are alive and well, taunting me with every meal. LOL!

Once your treatment is over, you get to ring a bell three times. Staff and the nurses who happened to be there in the moment all applauded. It was a very nice gesture of support. They have all been very helpful and kind throughout the process.

My mother, father, sister, and step mother attended the grand finale. While they did not get to watch me being zapped, they were in the waiting room ready with cheers and love. If you know me well, you can tell in the pictures how much my mouth and neck are hurting by how I am trying to "smile."

Am I happy that radiation is over. Yes, but not in an excited or an accomplishment kind of way. Through this process, I have done a fine job detaching from the experience, something I've alluded to in previous posts. Radiation is done but the pain and myriad inconveniences continue. Not knowing if this worked at all continues (the worst part for sure). So, for me, all that ended today was some driving. It is truly hard for me to believe that seven weeks of hell have come and gone, a testament to just how well I've dissociated.

I am eternally grateful for all the love and support I have. My mom and sister were even wearing a couple of the shirts I designed.

Thank you for following me on this journey. Because the ride is not yet over, I will continue to make blog posts if you are interested. Let me know in the Facebook comments. Please also post suggestions of things you would like to know that I have not really gone into or covered. If I am going to keep posting, I want you to be reading things that interest you. Please let me know.