The Weekend After Treatment

September 2

I decided that I would take a few day off from writing. A little rest is a good thing. As it turns out, a lot of rest is a good thing. While I don't feel terribly sleepy, my body is letting me know that it needs more sleep.

Since treatment ended last Wednesday, I noticed over the weekend that there's no clear pattern of decline or improvement over the course of many days. The fluctuation in how I feel occurs within each day. There are moments when I feel like I should be back on a normal schedule with a totally normal routine. These are usually followed by moments where my body laughs heartily at me and says, "Go lie your ass down, cancer boy."

One consistent difference is my inability to maintain physical activity. Up and down the stairs a few times and I'm winded. My resting heart rate is disgusting. It's around 80 bpm. According to the radiation doc's nurse, this is normal because my body is fighting really hard against the cancer and to recover from the rigors of treatment. It still bugs the shit out of me. There's that Type A thing in my head telling me to just go run a 5K.

Another consistent difference is my inability to concentrate. I've tried working on my sabbatical project (writing a textbook). Nothing I type seems right. I've been unable to even come up with a basic outline for chapter headings and subheadings (like a template). I haven't even tried doing a jigsaw puzzle because I know I'm going to sit and stare at it. I want to be productive but seem unable.

Eating has been a positive. Throughout treatment and now in the days beyond, I'm still on normal food. It take liters of water to get dinner down but I do it.

What do you guys want to know? I fear updates are going to become banal so please ask questions and tell me what you want to know!